I read something once that said, “All my bad habits disappear when I’m alone,” or something like that, and it made me think. It made me think about how when you’re alone you really should feel like you’re with your best friend- the most supportive, loving and accepting person that you know!
When I look at my own life, I realize that without the influence or reaction of anyone else, I am more patient and tolerant of myself. I am more honest and more confident when I’m alone in my own company. I embrace a line from the 1980’s movie “Singles” that loosely said there’s a dignity in being alone. So, I practice that whenever I can, taking precious moments to go solo.
Depending on your own life, at times you may feel like you’re being pulled in every direction. Whether it’s for your job, your kids, your partner or your friends, when you are asked to do too much, you may feel like you’re giving in to quantity and not quality. Like you’re showing up, but you’re not able to give the very best of yourself.
If this sounds familiar, here’s my advice: when you feel overwhelmed by the unnecessary things, don’t be afraid to take yourself out of the game. Step back from the plate. Rack your bat and call it a day. Touch base with yourself. Catch up on some reading. Take yourself to dinner or to yoga or to a movie. Check in with your feelings about your relationship, your job, or your hairstyle. And, as for the game everyone else is playing? Never fear. There will be other opportunities for you to suit up again and join the team, but, for now, just enjoy the ride on the bench, sitting next to an old friend- YOU!
Written by Natalie Sullivan who is a lawyer by training and a writer by heart. She lives in Harlem with her most devoted fans- her husband and her dog.